For most, if not all, of my professional career, my choice to live in Richmond, Virginia has been questioned.
It began decades ago in grad school. I attended one of the top advertising programs in the country—at Virginia Commonwealth University—which happened to be in my hometown of Richmond.
Exactly no one understood why I wanted to stay behind, when all my classmates were gunning to leave.
Toward the end of my first year, I was asked to complete a form that listed my top five choices for a summer internship at any advertising agency in the world.
I listed The Martin Agency, an advertising firm in Richmond, as my first and only choice. I left the other spots blank. When my professor saw this, he called me into his office.
Professor: You only listed one agency on your internship form.
Me: That’s correct.
Professor: Why is that?
Me: Because I want to live in Richmond, Virginia.
Professor: Okay, but all the more reason to spend a summer internship in San Francisco or New York. You should see what’s out there to decide what’s best for you.
Me: I’ve already decided what’s best for me. It’s to live in Richmond, where my family lives.
Professor: Total silence, and maybe even an eye roll.
A lot of great jobs exist in great cities. But my family lives in Richmond. And my ability to see them in a pinch will always be more important to me than my career.
The nudging and questioning didn’t stop in grad school.
Throughout my career, headhunters would call about job opportunities in faraway lands with brighter lights and bigger cities. The pitch was always the same:
Headhunter: We’d love for you to consider being a _____ in the great city of______.
Me: I’m flattered that you’d consider me. But my family and life are in Richmond. So that’s where I’m staying.
Headhunter: Well, that’s a first.
My response seemed natural to me, but came across as so strange to others. When they told me that jobs paid more in other cities, I said, “I don’t care.” When they told me the titles and corner offices were bigger and better in other cities, I said, “Oh well.”
Bigger isn’t always better for me. The siren call of sexier cities or more glamorous clients sounds very stressful to me. More money equals more responsibility; a bigger title means bigger headaches; and the larger the office, the less time you spend at home with your family.
Blech.
I’ve always had big ambitions when it came to my career, but I never believed that I had to move away from my hometown to achieve them. And boy, am I benefiting from this belief.
The payoff isn’t an ever-growing 401k profit-sharing plan to help me live the good life later; it’s everyday moments that help me live the good life now.
- If I’m having a bad day, I call my big brother who’ll meet me for Mexican food, beer, and a side dish of perspective.
- Both of my grandmothers died in the same year, and I was with them when they took their last breaths. Not because I got on an airplane and flew across the country, but because I got in my car and drove down the street.
- My father was the mystery reader in my son’s first grade class many times. Not because it was a special occasion, but because it was a Tuesday.
I’ve never had the perfect words to explain why I want to live in Richmond, Virginia. But that last picture says it all.
I’ve always believed that to have it all, you first have to determine what your “all” actually is. And this is mine.
Lo and behold, I got the big-ass corner office after all.
Is this scenario possible for everyone? Probably not. Each member of my family had to make a conscious decision to stay in Richmond throughout the years. And perhaps even crazier is that my husband is from Geneva, Switzerland and made Richmond his second home. I appreciate how unique my situation is.
But even if you don’t live down the street from your family, what can you do to bring them into the fold today? One day they’ll all be gone. We’ll all be gone.
Find a way to make life outside your career or passions a priority before it’s too late. Make some memories, even if it’s just picking up the phone to remind the special people in your life how much you love them.
