At 10:42 this morning, I sat across from my doctor to review the results of my annual physical. The first words out of his mouth were, “Congratulations, Katherine. You are extremely healthy. You’re eating right, exercising right, and it shows in your test results.”
My first thought was, Me, healthy? Ha. Yeah right. I was so baffled that someone would describe me as a healthy human being that I almost looked behind me to see who this guy was actually talking to.
My confusion over this may come as a surprise to most, because I’ve been relatively thin for most of my life. Most assume if someone is thin, they’re also healthy.
But that’s not true. What you see on the outside is not always indicative of what’s happening inside. If you’re thin, it does not mean that you’re healthy. Just like if you’re successful, it doesn’t mean that you’re happy.
Seeing isn’t always believing.
Three years ago, my test results would have been a dramatically different story. It would have been the same story I’d been hearing, and ignoring, for years:
“Katherine, despite the fact that you appear healthy on the outside, your body is far from healthy on the inside. Your stress level, lack of exercise, and terrible eating habits are having adverse effects on your health. Your cholesterol is high, you’ve had gestational diabetes with both pregnancies, and your internal ratio of fat to muscle mirrors someone who is, technically speaking, obese.”
Three years ago my diagnosis was clear: thin on the outside, rotting on the inside, but with a metabolism high enough to hide it.
And that diagnosis mirrored my life at the time: successful on the outside, rotting on the inside, but enough drive and determination to hide it.
At the time, I knew I was unhealthy and pretty unhappy. But everyone around me thought I was thin and successful. Why change?
And therein lies the problem.
If you live for others, you might appear happy-happy-joy-joy on the outside, but you will rot on the inside.
Once I started living for myself, I developed a desire to take care of myself. I decided I’d no longer be an afterthought but the first thought.
And today, I have a clean bill of health to show for it. My cholesterol is fine, my trend line toward diabetes has disappeared, and my body mass index is normal.
Some might think finding your truth and living a more authentic life is fluffy, superficial, or self-indulgent. But I’ve become happier, which made me want to be healthier.
I could never get it to work in the opposite order. I couldn’t get my health to lead, so I let my happiness take the lead, and my health quickly followed.
If you’re working hard to have a healthier life, perhaps hitting pause and determining what will lead to a happier life will work for you, too.
When I was performing, perfecting, and pleasing, I made absolutely no time for myself. I never exercised, I skipped meals all the time, and I went through the drive-through when I was starving.
Now I’m happy and making time for myself. I make time to exercise. I research new doctors and find time to cook healthy meals for my family, even if they don’t like it.
There aren’t more hours in the day than there were three years ago. But now that I’m spending them doing things I want, instead of doing things I think I should do, I have plenty of time for doing what matters to me.
Happiness is the goal. And once you find it, you’ll discover time for the most meaningful things in life.
